This is Me - Hiccups & Side Eye
This is a post included in the This is Me series where I answer 1001 questions about myself as writing practice. Each post consists of me answering 5 questions about myself. Wanna share what you would answer to any or all of the questions? Do it in the comments section!
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
I've been thinking about this for a while and have determined that there is no one, specific day of the year that I look forward to (which in my opinion would make it my favorite.)
Part of me wanted to say my birthday because...obvs....presents. The good Christian in me wants to say either Christmas or Easter, but if I said Christmas everyone would think I'm just saying that because of the presents and the chocolate and Easter just feels too expected. Both of those days do (of course) have very special meanings to me, but it doesn't feel right to say that either one is my absolute favorite day of the year.
I know that this will also sound cliche, but every day that I get to wake up and live another day is my favorite. Life is tough, but man is it beautiful too.
DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A GOOD DRIVER?
The more of these questions I answer, the more I find myself asking, "what is your definition of a _____?" So to this I would say, "what defines a good driver?" Rate of accidents? Or maybe the comfort of passengers? Following the rules of the road to a T? Or having the wisdom to know when to break the rules?
If you were to ask Paul, I am not a good driver. But he takes driving very seriously and I don't honestly know if he thinks anyone is a good driver. Well *cough* except for himself. I just took a break and asked him this question and he said, "I think I'm a good driver" (LOL) and then we had a 20 minute conversation about what defines a good driver.
This is what we determined: there are two types of "good drivers". Type one is excellent at anticipating and reacting and can do that at high levels of speed, but passengers might not be comfortable. Type two will have very comfortable passengers but may not be fast or efficient. These types make up a yin yang sort of dichotomy and the perfect driver would land on the line in between the two. We are not sure that person exists.
As for myself, I think I am a decently good driver. I am not highly distracted, I don't take unnecessary risks and I have situational awareness. I'm not overly aggressive. I do think however that most people think they are decent drivers while also thinking most other people are not. So I'm not sure what that says about us as a society. Something deep I'm sure.
DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF?
I wouldn't use the word "love". The word love can mean so many different things, in so many different contexts that I don't think that is the best word to use. I think I understand the gist of the question though...and instead I might say that I appreciate myself.
I appreciate the person that I have become over my lifetime of experiences. Do I think I have room for growth? Absolutely. And I probably will have room for growth until I take my last breath.
I think a question like this and the resulting answer can teeter on the line of asking, "what is a healthy way to feel about yourself?" I don't think you should "love" yourself in the sense that you are totally selfish and self-serving and think you can do no wrong. But I also think you shouldn't totally hate on yourself and think lowly of yourself either. Which ultimately might lead you to ask...."well, what is a proper balance between being totally selfish and hating on yourself?" And I think there isn't a worldly answer to that question.
But there is an answer in Christianity. You don't have to worry about "loving yourself" because you already know that you are loved and valued by the creator of the universe. The creator of the universe loves you. Who cares if you love yourself? You never have to worry about being "good enough" to be loved, He just loves you. He looks at you and sees Jesus because Jesus paid the price. On the flip side, knowing that you are so deeply loved despite all of your problems and flaws should humble you. You aren’t worthy, and he loves you anyway. Sheeesh. Humbles me every time.
Understanding both that you are loved deeply despite being unworthy…there is no amount of self love as freeing and satisfying as that.
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU GET THE HICCUPS?
Oh my goodness I had them today!! I can't figure out a rhyme or reason for when they come along, but usually when they show up, they will continue to show up four or five times in a 24 hour period. That's weird right? Or is that like a thing that happens to other people too? There HAS to be a medical reason for that right? I can typically get them to stop by holding a deep breath for around 20-30 seconds which is good because whenever I get them if I don't try to stop them immediately I start getting some side eye from Paul.
WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY?
I'm attempting to imagine a scenario where I might say, "oh my goodness, I can't breathe!" and the only time I can think I might say that (other than the obvious medical emergency) is when I'm with a group of really good friends (you know the ones...the ones you can pretty much talk about anything with and your sense of humor meshes 100%....those ones) and we are just talking and cracking each other up. Sometimes I will laugh so incredibly hard it completely takes my breath away. I never mind one bit.
