Best Advice
Writing assignment from Christian Writers Workshop.
Assignment: What is the best advice you have ever been given?
Advice: guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent future action.
Being someone who has done a lot of teaching and coaching in my past, I am very comfortable giving lots of, what I would hope and assume is, really good advice. But as I was thinking about this assignment I realized that maybe I'm not the best at asking for advice. I tend to enjoy figuring things out on my own and I also admit that I don't enjoy appearing as if I need advice, so I probably don't ask for it nearly as often as I should.
But then I started thinking back to times in my life where things drastically changed for the better. If I really zoom in, those positive changes are all the result of great advice that helped me change my perspective on situations. I couldn't pick just one though, so you get to hear about a few of them. Hey, maybe one of them will have an impact on your life too! You never know....
My dad was very adamant all throughout my childhood that when the time came, I should buy a house instead of renting. While I did rent for a while in college, I did end up purchasing my first home as a single 28 year old and turns out my dad was right! Shocker! His persistent advice has paid off very nicely. My husband and I have purchased three other homes since that time and all of them have resulted in positive cash flow for us. Thanks dad for that solid financial advice that I didn't ask for. My bank account and I are very appreciative.
Keeping with the parent theme, my mom was also great at giving good solid Biblical advice all throughout my life but one bit in particular sticks out to me. I was really struggling with making a big decision about something, and I essentially had two options. I was really drawn to one and the other wasn't nearly as appealing, but I wanted to know what God's will was for me so that I would be sure to make the right choice. I was stuck in the mindset that if I personally wanted to do one thing, then God probably wanted me to do the other thing. She gracefully told me that just because I was drawn to something doesn't mean God wants me to do the opposite, I was likely drawn to one choice for a reason. He often gives us the desire of our hearts and no matter our choice, he will use me in that choice for his glory. This was a huge perspective shift for me and one I keep coming back to over and over. I always want to seek God's will for my life, but I have immense comfort in knowing that he will use me for his purpose no matter what path I head down.
Another great piece of advice that I'm not sure who told to me, but has shaped the essence of who I am and my general outlook on life is, "you won't feel this way forever." Whenever I feel big negative emotions like sadness or anxiety, I stop and think about a specific day a few months in the future. I just pick any random date and focus on it. I remind myself that I won't feel like this on that day. These emotions won't last forever. For some reason this always has an intense calming effect on me and allows me to process and focus on moving forward.
A great piece of practical advice came to me by way of a business coach. It was simple. Turn off all notifications on your phone. For the past 8 years, I have only had text notifications on my phone and let me tell you, it is a game changer. I do still look at my phone more than I would like, but I'm not constantly distracted by the screen lighting up with another hollow promise of something better happening online than in real life.
The last piece of advice, is the one that likely has had the greatest impact on my life - it resulted in my marriage to Paul! Well, I can't really prove that it had a direct result, but I am convinced that it did. I was 34 and about four years into sporadically online dating and I was so frustrated. After another lackluster first date I was at a friends house venting about how much I hated this process and I was so tired of everyone always saying, "Cinnamon, you are so great, how are you still single?" Why couldn’t I just find my guy already?
She was very upfront with me and said, "Cinnamon I think you need to really take this to the Lord. His plan for your life may be to be single. Curl up in his arms and let him comfort you. That is what he wants - he wants you to pursue HIM and him alone." That stopped me in my tracks.
I did exactly what she suggested and I went home that night and curled right up with the Lord and told him that if his plan was for me to be single, I would be ok with it. I knew that he would take care of me and use me and comfort me and provide for all of my needs, husband or not. I not only said it, but I truly did believe it. It was the first time that I felt incomprehensible peace regarding being single wash over me. That giant boulder was finally off of my shoulders and I was so incredibly grateful. I met Paul a couple of months later and we celebrated 11 years of marriage last summer.
Of course I don't know for sure if my surrender was just a crazy coincidence but if I was still single today I know that I would be OK. God is after our hearts and to this day when I'm wrestling with something I remind myself to stop, curl up in God's lap and just give it to him instead. We never have to carry our burdens alone.
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