The people who say happy birthday
Writing assignment from Christian Writers Workshop.
Assignment: Write about anything you want!
I just celebrated a birthday. It wasn’t a milestone birthday so I wasn’t pondering things like, “how do I feel about being this old?”, or “how is it possible that I’m closer to 50 than 30? That doesn’t seem right….wait, how old am I turning again?!”
Instead, as the texts, messages, DM’s and phone calls started pouring in in, my thoughts turned to, “isn’t it wild how celebrating birthdays has changed so much in such a short time period?” and “do I really know *this* many people who actually care about my birthday?”
Before the advent of social media, most tier 2 and 3 people in your life wouldn’t have any idea it was your birthday. For clarity, I consider tier 2 people to be acquaintances, people you see at work everyday or run into often enough to know a bit about them, but you don’t stay in regular close contact. Tier 3 people are those you used to work with, someone you just met, maybe a friend of a friend, or old friends who you went to high school or college with. If it’s been 15 years since you’ve seen them, the probability was low that they would remember your birthday and then work out the details on how to actually contact you with well wishes.
Tier 1 people are your closest friends and family, your besties. Of course they will know it’s your birthday because they have probably celebrated with you before so the date is more cemented in their mind. Or maybe you have talked about it with them and are already making plans.
Back in the day, (aka 2007-ish and before) unless the birthday was a “big” one, you would probably only hear from Tier 1 people or hardly acknowledge it yourself. Maybe you get flowers at work. A few coworkers notice and tell you Happy Birthday. Maybe you just go to a nicer than normal dinner with your family. Maybe a close friend surprises you with a card and a gift on your doorstep or a night out on the town.
Nowadays, all it takes is a facebook account for you to feel like your birthday has now become a national day of celebration! As long as you have a decent number of friends online (the average user has, get this…338!) you’ll likely be getting pinged all day long with notifications and messages from people “hoping that you have the best day ever” and others who hope you “get spoiled rotten” and my personal favorite, “have extra cake!” That last one is what my dad posts every time he wishes someone happy birthday on facebook.
There are a lot of things I really dislike about social media, but this phenomenon is not one of those things. It’s a simple mechanism really - you list your birthday when you sign up. You become facebook friends with all your tier 1, 2 and 3 people. The date you were born arrives and viola! The celebrations begin.
The tier 1 people will likely choose a different method to celebrate you…maybe a text message or a phone call. They are tier 1 after all so they will likely have your phone number and will want to shower their affections in a more personal way. The tier 2 and 3 though…you’ll be hearing from them on facebook or other online platforms en mass.
The real estate agent who sold you a house 10 years ago, the guy you barely remember who was a senior when you were a sophomore in high school, the friend who you sat next to three jobs ago that you haven’t talked to in five years, the person who was in the class you taught two years ago, the lady you just met in bible study last week…all popping in to tell you Happy Birthday!!
A lot of people will miss it because maybe they weren’t on facebook that day or maybe they just aren’t a person who does the whole happy birthday on facebook thing. Or maybe they consider you tier 4. Tier 4 is someone you aren’t sure why you are facebook friends in the first place because you don’t really remember them but you also don’t want to unfriend them because maybe they remember you?
Social media make things weird sometimes.
Regardless, it does feel good to have so many people show up to wish you a happy day. It’s genuine, there’s no underlying motives and it makes you feel oh so good to know they saw your name and chose to take that extra 15-20 second to type out their well wishes.
Personally, I love it when I find out it’s someone's birthday even if it’s just some random person who I don’t really know but happen to be talking with. THIS IS THE DAY! The day they came into the world! You just thought it was a random Tuesday where you had to get your oil changed and stop to pick up batteries, but instead you found out that this person in front of you began their existence on this very day. We all light up at that fact even if the person is a complete and total stranger.
I think that’s because we all inherently know just how valuable life is. This person was created in the image of God. They are human just like you. They have hopes and dreams. They’ve probably experienced excruciating pain and exuberant, joyful laughter. They have felt lonely, satisfied, joyful, curious. They have probably laughed so hard they cried, and cried so hard they weren’t sure the tears would ever stop. Just like you.
Valuable. Worthy of love despite their faults. Just like you.
They were born. Just like you. Just like me.
What a happy day indeed.
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