Steady

I jotted down the assignment in my notebook.

Write a memory of your family.

No problem! I thought, as I put the cap back on my pen and headed out the door. I'm sure I have plenty of those.

As I drove home, I started combing through the recesses of my brain and slowly began to panic. Did I have memories of my family? I mean sure, I have snapshots of things that happened in my childhood, but I was struggling to come up with a solid core memory that included both my mom and my dad.

Why couldn't I come up with something? Was I repressing some sort of trauma? Did I experience a brain injury that I can't remember because, hello...brain injury! Do I have some sort of amnesia?

Time to hit up Google.

Turns out that not remembering a whole lot of your past is pretty normal. Human memory focuses first on events that had a huge impact in your life. All the other boring and mundane details get purged first.

Whew! Ok, no brain issues here...that's a relief. So, what do I remember?

Thinking back to my time growing up, the best word I can come up with is...steady.

My parents still live in my childhood home. My dad purchased the home in 1971 and lived there with some of his college roommates until he married my mom a few years later. It's a humble home, about 1500 sq feet even with the addition they added. They paid their last $150 mortgage payment when I was in high school.

My mom worked as an accountant until I was about 5, when she decided to quit work and stay at home. She then became a published author and wrote and spoke at churches all across the country.

My dad was a traveling salesman, selling piston rings and oil filters to auto part stores all across the state. Because of the nature of his job, he was gone for many of my formative years. He got laid off when I was in high school which ended up being a blessing in disguise. He is a true entrepreneur at heart, and has been running his own businesses ever since.

I was an only child which meant that I didn't have to deal with the trauma of having siblings and I also only had two cousins. There simply weren’t a lot of family issues that caused me any sort of stress. #bothablessingandacurse

We didn't go on many vacations other than the yearly trip we would take every summer down to El Paso. It was a normal work week for my dad but my mom and I got to get out of town and hang by a pool all week. #winning.

We did take an RV trip to Disneyland once but my hazy recollection of that trip is wrapped around the stories mom and dad would tell for years to come. The only part of that trip I distinctly remember is sitting in the back of the RV looking out the window at the flashing red and blue lights behind us.

My mom drove me to and from school every day. She took me to church on the weekends. We had dinner most nights in front of the TV, or out if it was a special occasion. Dad picked me up from various sleepovers and even a school trip once because I was scared to sleep away from home. Mom would edit my writing assignments from school. They rewarded my good grades with cash and taught me how to save for the things I really wanted. They attended my graduation and supported me with great advice and the occasional grocery haul once I got my own apartment.

I felt loved. I felt safe. I felt supported. I felt cared for. Even though I probably wouldn't have described it that way at the time, there is no doubt I never felt like the world was slipping out from under my feet.

Everything was…..steady.

It makes sense why I don't have many strong core memories from times of my childhood. There weren’t a lot of big emotions, negative or positive. Those big emotions attach us to those moments as we relive them over and over, creating strong, core memories. The daily humdrum of normal, everyday life gets washed away like soap down a drain...not to be remembered or thought of again.

Steady.

That's the memory of my family. I'll take it.

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