Aging parents and Silver Linings

Dear Cinnamon

Feb 28

Dear Cinnamon,
How do you let go of what your parent was and learn to be at peace with where the parent is at today? My mom was always very independent, but now she is an assisted living facility and I know she’s not really happy about it. I find myself feeling sad that she needs to have more help than she wanted.

Dear Reader,

How to deal with aging parents is not a subject that gets enough attention in my opinion! I’m dealing with some of the same feelings as well as my parents age and become more and more dependent. I can’t say I have it all figured out though because I’m also at the beginning of this journey and it is absolutely a lot to navigate.

Even though it can be emotionally draining to see our parents become different versions of the people we have known all of our lives, I am a big believer in attempting to see the silver linings in the clouds of change. Sometimes we just need to look for those hints of silver peeking out through all the shades of dark grey.

First and most importantly, remind yourself that this is a situation that you do not have control over. If it is necessary for her to be in assisted living because it is what is best for her, then it is what it is! While it is fine to grieve the situation that “could have been” it’s important not to stay in that place for too long. Your mom might be in the grieving stage for a while so she will need to lean on you to help shoulder some of that burden.

With any new situation or change in life, adjustments can take time but there will always be bright spots that you weren’t anticipating. New friends, time to focus on personal hobbies…there are bound to be things to find joy in regardless of the fact that those things might look slightly different than before.

If you are still struggling to find peace with the situation, bring that restlessness to the Lord. He is not afraid of tough situations. Find a quiet place, take some deep breaths to calm your mind and ask for His help. He is a loving Father who wants his children to come to Him when they need help. He promises that we can find rest in him. Remember, rest doesn’t necessarily mean things going the way we want them! Its comfort in knowing that it’s not all up to us! We don’t have to find the solution in every situation. Just as a child can sleep easy at night without the worries and burdens of figuring out what to do in case an emergency happens…they know their parents will have it covered. That is what rest looks like.

I know these life changes can feel huge and scary and draining. I’m right there with you! But take joy that you don’t have to deal with it all alone. I’ll be praying for you as well!