When you don’t feel good enough

Dear Cinnamon

Feb 22

Dear Cinnamon,
I’m not feeling good enough. Help!

Dear Reader,

Oh dear reader, I wish I could give you a big ‘ol hug! After I did that I would sincerely (and in the most Cinnamon-y way possible) ask…

…good enough for what?

Even though I may not know what is driving this question in the specific moment you asked it, I think we can all relate right? We have all felt not good enough at some point in our life. While the most common response to this statement will point towards comparison and it being the thief of joy (which I wholeheartedly agree with) I’d like to posit another response that might not be as common, or as popular.

How about when we don’t feel good enough, we look for ways to get better?

I know that may seem harsh especially compared to a lot of fluffy instagram posts you’ll see or inspirational books or talks you might hear about how you are enough and you are worthy etc…and I’m not discounting those messages or saying they are wrong. But at the same time, there are things in our life that we want to try or learn and when we start, we aren’t very good. It takes time, practice and dedication to get better.

I think we’ve lost understanding of this basic fact of life, mainly because we are inundated non-stop every day (if we choose to look) with social media content from people who are already good at things. Things we might want to be good at. This is where the comparison part comes in. But if we can be honest with ourselves and give ourselves a reality check, we will remember that it’s ok to be not good at stuff for a while. Everyone is not good at stuff and then they get better. That’s how life works.

My best advice if you aren’t feeling good enough is to ask yourself these three questions.

1) do I even want to be good at that?

2) if I do want to be good at that, what steps do I need to take to get better?

3) am I willing to put in the time and effort to get better?

If the answer to 1 or 3 is no, then you can just move on with your life! See! Already you are feeling better.
If the answer to 1 is yes and the answer to 3 is no then also….admit it to yourself and move on to something else that you are willing to invest the time in.
And if the answer to 1 and 3 is yes, then you’ve got some work to do. Get after it. You’ve got one cheerleader for sure. ;-)